Introduction
Indian
traditions always have a proper significance – both scientifically
and symbolically. These are termed as Samskaaras which help in –
making one perfect, refining, polishing, and purifying in all
aspects. We have around 40 such Samskaaras right from our birth to
death. Of these, Vivaaham – meaning Marriage, is the turning point
in every one’s life. It is from this point that, a person stops
traveling alone and starts his/her journey accompanied by his life
partner.
Vah
– to carry, convey, transport; Vaha – Carrying, supporting
Vaaha
– Carriage, Conveyance; Vahat – Traveller
Vahati
– Friend, Advisor; Vi – (Prefix for) Distinguished
So,
Vivaaham is where one gets an Advisor/Partner to travel along for the
rest of their life.
Our
Sages have prescribed the proper methods to perform the rituals
during the Marriage ceremony. There are about 25 rituals having
different significances for the enhancement of the life of the
newlywed couple – Dampati.
वाग्दानं
च प्रदानं च वरणं पाणिपीडनम्
|
सप्तपदीति
पंचांगो विवाह:
परिकीर्तित:
||
Of
the 25 – 5 are most important – Vaagdaanam, Pradaanam, Varanam,
Paanipiidanam and Saptapadii. The following is a gist of each of the
25 rituals.
-
वरप्रेषणम्,
कन्या
वरणम् – Varapreshanam,
Kanya Varanam
The
Brahmachaari, after completing his studies, starts earning and
becomes ready to take up the Gruhasthaashrama life. He starts to seek
a girl based on his qualities, wealth, age, clan (Kulam), health and
lifestyle. He sends his parents and elders from his family to the
Girl’s home to ask for the Girl. This process is called Vara
Preshanam. Kanya Varanam is selecting a girl. This, although, spans
over a few days to months, is now done before the Kanya Daanam as
just a ritual.
-
वाग्दानम्
– Vaangnichchayam
There
are 5 stages in Vaagdaanam, which literally means giving the word –
-
Brahmachaari
sends his parents and elders to the Kanyaa’s place to get all the
information about the Kanyaa and thus, proposing for the Vivaaham.
-
The
Kanyaa’s family welcome the guests and provide the information
about the Girl – her Horoscope, studies, conduct, other
activities, etc.
-
Both
the family members come to a conclusion about the Vivaaham
considering the cosmic influence in their life, and other matches.
This is called Nichchayathaartham.
-
On
the previous day of the Vivaaham, both the families exchange
Taambuulam. This is also a part of the Nichchayathaartham.
-
The
Brahmachaari gets ready in Paradesha Kolam to go out of his place to
spend his life in learning and become a saint. The Kanyaa’s father
asks the Brahmachaari to take up Gruhasthaashrama by accepting to
provide his daughter for Vivaaham.
In
all these five stages, it is through Vaak – Words that the Vivaaham
is ascertained.
-
ब्रह्मचर्य
व्रत पूर्ति – Brahmacharya
Vrata Puurti, followed by Kaashi Yaatra
The
Kanyaa’s father and the Brahmachaari are required to do certain
Vrataas at their home/mandapam. Right from the Kanyaa’s birth until
her Marriage, the father has rituals to be done like – Jaatakarma,
Naamakaranam, etc. If these were not done, or done with some delay,
they are to be done at this time along with Rtumati Prayashchittam.
This is done on the day of the Vivaaham, very early in the morning.
Only after this, the Kanyaa becomes a Vadhuu – Bride.
Similarly,
the Brahmachaari has certain everyday rites like Samidhadaanam,
Kaanda Vratam, etc. He is required to perform certain rites like
Kaanda Rshi Tarpanam, Prajapatyam. Soumyam, Aagneyam, Vaishvadevem
during his Vratam by keeping his Father or Guru as his Acharya.
Pancha
Paalika
utsavam, also referred as Vana Mahotsavam has the significance of
protecting flora and the Dhaanyams that arise out of the flora. The 9
Dhaanyas are mixed and filled in 5 Paalikas – small pot like
structures. Five Sumangaliis sprinkle a mixture of water and milk on
these. And these are thrown (with the intention of prosperity for the
plants, trees from where these Dhaanyams originate) into some water
body, since these should not dry, nor get touched by our feet.
Januvaasam
– On the previous day, the Brahmachaari goes to the Kanyaa’s
place with his dress until his knees. Jaanu – Knee. Vaasam –
Vastram for being welcomed by the Kanyaa’s family. This is followed
by the exchange of Lagna Patrika – which contains details about the
Vivaaham like Muhurtam, etc.
Paradesha
Kolam, Kaashi Yatra - Properly
getting ready for traveling out of his town, the boy removes all his
hair from his body, wears dress below the knee for the first time,
wears a dress on his upper body, wears the second Punuul. And with an
umbrella, bamboo stick, slippers, hand-fan he starts his journey to
Kaashi. Kaashi is the place of knowledge and hence he progresses to
learn more about the Vidya Sthaanams. The Kanyaa’s father asks the
Brahmachaari to take up Gruhasthaashrama and offers his daughter.
Exchange
of Garlands is
done for the union of both the family members. This act helps in
developing good bondage between the two families.
Varapreshanam
is also done on the day of marriage after Raksha bandhanam with
Mantraas. This is followed by Kanyaa
Dana Sankalpam,
where the Vadhuu’s father proclaims that the previous 10
generations, the current generation, the next 10 generations – 21
in total, his manes and other people attain Brahmalokam through this
act of Kanyaa Daanam.
-
वर
पूजा,
कन्या
दानम् – Vara
Pooja, Kanyaa Daanam
After
the Kanyaa Daana Sankalpam, the bride’s father welcomes the groom
and washes his feet doing Paadaprakshaalanam. Pravaram is where the
Paramparaa of both the families is said three times.
During
the Kanyaa Daanam and Maangalyadhaaranam, the bride is supposed to be
seated on paddy. But now, this practice has changed and the bride is
now seated on her father’s lap. The groom should be west faced and
the bride’s father faces north. And the bride’s father places the
girls’ hands over the boy’s hands saying: “By this Kanyaa
Daanam, let my manes, get good fortune and moksham, and let me also
get moksham.” The groom says: “With the permission of all
devataas like Surya, I take up this girl’s responsibilities”.
This is called Varanam – the 3rd
important ritual, accepting the Kanyaa daanam.
-
अग्नि
प्रतिष्ठापनम्,
Agni Pratishtaapanam
In
all rituals, the first job is to get the Anugnya of people in the
Sabha and do the Sankalpam. Then with Agni as Saakshi/witness, the
rituals are done. So, placing the Agni in the Homa Kundam is called
Agni Pratishtaapanam. This is followed by Aupaasanam done by the
groom. This is similar to Samidhaadaanam done during the Brahmacharya
stage of life.
-
मधुपर्क
दानम्,
Madhuparka Daanam
The
groom is provided with Sweets (Madhu) like honey, fruits, curd, etc.
Also, cattles are provided to the groom by the bride’s family.
-
देवता
प्रार्थना,
Devataa Praarthana
After
Madhuparka Daanam, the boy is allowed to look at the girl for the
first time. He then prays to all the Devataas:
O
Varuna! Let her be Good to my siblings
O
Bruhaspati! Let her be Good to me
O
Indra! Let her be Good to my children
O
Surya! Let her get all Aishwaryams
-
विवाह
सन्कल्पम्,
Vivaaha Sankalpam
During
the Vivaaha Sankalpam, the groom claims that he is about to marry the
bride. Along with that he prays to the Devataas that any bad
qualities, if the girl possesses be removed, and then he brushes her
eyebrow with the Darbha saying: I remove all your Amangalaas.
-
कन्या
संस्कारम्,
Kanyaa Samskaaram, Mangala Snaanam
Once
the Vivaaha Sankalpam is done, the Groom does the Mangala Snaanam for
the bride with Mantraas, as a part of Kanyaa Samskaaram. A minimum of
4 Brahmins, or any even number from 4, should bring water for the
Mangala Snaanam. The bride is surrounded by her Mothers in law,
brothers in law. A Darbha is kept on her head facing North-South
direction. Over the Darbha, any ornament is kept. Sometimes the
Thirmaangalyam is also kept instead of any ornament. And then the
Brahmins pour water on the bride. The Mantraas recited during the
Mangala Snaanam is from the Pavamaana Suktham used especially for
Punyaahavaachanam - to make anything pure.
-
अलंकारम्,
Alankaaram
The
bride is required to be well dressed after her Mangalasnaanam. The
groom’s family buy a Koorappudavai, a special saree for the
following rituals along with Thirmaangalyam. This need not be made of
silk; it can also be of Cotton. The bride receives the Koorappudavai
from the groom and wears it for the subsequent rituals.
-
मांगल्यधारणम्,
Mangalyadhaaranam
The
groom says “With this auspicious thread, let you live happily for
100 years.”
The
Vivaaham does not stop after Mangalyadhaaranam. It is not advisory to
wish/shake hands with the bride and the groom after Maangalya
dhaaranam.
Followed
by Maangalya Dhaaranam, Metti is worn by the bride. Then the bride’s
waist is tied with Darbha by the groom. This is done to make sure the
bride follows her husband for the remaining rituals.
-
अग्निमुखान्तम्,
Agnimukhaantam
The
Groom is seated in front of the Agni, towards the northern end,
facing east and the bride is seated on his right. He then performs
rites from Aupaasanam to Aajyapaakam. Then he says: “Initially Soma
took care of you when you were a kid, then Gandharva took care of
you, when you were young. And then in your youth, Agni took care of
you. And now, all the three Devataas would bless me to take care of
you for the rest of your life.”
-
पाणिग्रहणम्,
Paanigrahanam or Paanipiidanam
Paani
means Hand; Grahanam means Grasping/Holding. Holding the hands of the
bride is the ritual. It is also called Hastabandhanam, from which the
word Husband might have originated!! The Groom says:
“Let
you become the Head of my home. Devataas like Bhagan, Aryamaa,
Savitaa, Indra have given you to me. I hold your hands until our last
breath.”
-
सप्तपदी,
Saptapadii
The
Groom holds the Bride’s right foot, and places seven steps with the
foot. The seven steps indicate seven significances. He says:
-
Let
Shrii MahaVishnu provide Annam, with your first step.
-
With
your second, let Him provide you good health and flexibility.
-
With
your third, let Him make you do proper Vratams.
-
With
your fourth, let Him provide leisure and happiness.
-
With
your fifth, let Him provide good cattle.
-
With
your sixth, let Him provide seasons at appropriate time.
-
With
your seventh, let Him provide good fortune and life for those
involved in Soma Yajnaas.
Then
he says:
“Let
you become my friend, we are friends, I will not leave from this
friendship. Let you not leave. Let us live together. Let us share
whatever we get in our life – happiness, sorrow, good fortune,
wealth, health, etc.”
After
this Saptapadii, the bride and the groom will be termed as Gruhinii
and Gruhastha, respectively and they become a Dampatii. The bride
gets changed from her Gothram to her husband’s Gothram.
-
अग्निप्रदक्षिणम्.
परिणयम्
– Agni
Pradakshinam, Parinayam
The
Dampatii, after SaptaPadii, go around Agni doing a Pradakshinam. Then
they sit in front of Agni, and do the Pradhaana Homam. 16 Aahutiis
are poured in Agni in the form of Ghee. The Groom pleads to the
Devataas like Soma, Gandharvaa, Agni, Indra, Varuna, Brhaspati,
Ashvini Devataas, Aakasha, Vayu, Surya, Vishvadevaas, etc that his
Wife be prosperous and protected from all sorts of evil.
-
अश्मारोहणम्,
लाजहोमम्
-
Ashmaarohanam, Laajahomam
This
is the ritual where the bride steps on Ammi. The Husband takes his
Wife’s right toe with his right hand and places over the Ammi
signifying that the Bride be strong like the Ammi stone and oppose
her enemies with the strength like that of the stone. Laajahomam is
where the Dampatii pour puffed rice with ghee over the Agni. The
Husband holds his wife’s hands and goes around the Agni doing a
Pradakshinam. This whole ritual is repeated two more times.
-
जयादि
होमम्,
आशीर्वादम्
– Jayaadi
Homam, Aashiirvadam
Jayaadi
homam is done for the welfare of all the people and things, after
most of the rituals. 13 Mantraas that Brhaspati gave as Upadesham to
Indra before going to War, 18 Devataas mantras, 12 Raashtrabhrth
Mantraas – union of Kshatriya and Braahmana Dharma Mantraas and
hence 43 Aahutiis are poured. Along with that, 5 Aahutiis from
Prajaapati homam, Vyahruti Homam, Svishtikrt Homam, and thus 48
Aahutiis, in total are poured during Jayaadi Homam.
-
प्रवेश
होमम्,
ध्रुव,
अरुन्धती
दर्शनम् – Pravesha
Homam, Dhruva, Arundhatii Darshanam
The
Dampatii do the Gruha Pravesha Homam at the Husband’s place. The
wife enters the home with her right leg saying a few Mantraas. The
Agni is to be kept in the North East direction of the house and 13
Mantraas are recited for 13 Aahutiis and finally says “Let Cattles,
Good Children, and Good fortune be obtained here”. Then Gandharva
Puja is done where oblations are placed for a Gandharvaa named –
Viswaavasu, who protects Kanyaas.
After
Pravesha Homam, it is required that the Dampatii do not speak with
anyone until that night. Then, the Mounam/Silence is broken after
viewing Dhruva and Arundhatii Nakshatram in the night.
-
आग्नेय
स्थालीपाकम् – Aagneya
Sthaaliipaakam
Sthaalii
is a vessel that possesses food. Paakam is cooked food.
Sthaaliipaakam is the act of cooking the food called Charu on the
Aupaasana Agni.
-
औपासनम्
-
Aupaasanam
After
Vivaaham, the next 1 year is called as Samvathsara Deeksha, i.e, the
next one year is to be spent like a Brahmachaari, doing regular
Aupaasanam. Only then Shanti Kalyaanam is to be done. But nowadays,
it is shortened and only 4 days of such Deeksha is followed.
Aupaasanam is that which is related to Upaasanam. In the morning
Surya is prayed, and in the evening Agni is prayed and this is done
with Rice.
-
शेष
होमम् – Shesha
Homam
Right
from the day of marriage, the Dampatii should perform Aupaasanam at
least 7 times both in the morning and evening. During the Gandharva
puja for Viswaavasu done earlier, a wooden stick is used for the
Aavaahanam. That stick is to be kept between the husband and wife
while sleeping for the next 3 days. On the fourth day, this practise
is stopped by performing Shesha Homam. Only then the Husband can
start his proper Gruhasthaashrama life.
-
नान्दी
श्राद्धम् – Naandii
Shraddham
It
is also called Abhyudaya Shraaddham. In order to pray for welfare of
the Pitr Devataas, who had come here to wish the Dampatii a
prosperous married life, this Shraddham is done. The parents of the
Dampatii do Naandi during the Vratam. After Shesha Homam, the
Dampatii is required to do, although the husband’s father is also
involved now.
-
फलदानम्,
24. ताम्बूल
शर्वणम्,
25. आशीर्वादम्
All
the people are given fruits, tambulam, and their Aasheervadam is
sought by the Dampatii. The Dampatii hold the Tambuulam and get the
blessings of others. During the Aasheervadam, all the elders bless
the Dampatii for a prosperous and happy life.